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Lewis B. Smedes said “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you”.
Or as another well-known quote states: “Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”
The Oxford Language Dictionary defines forgiveness as “the action or process of forgiving or being forgiven”, and defines the word “forgive” as “stop feeling angry or resentful towards (someone) for an offence, flaw, or mistake”.
The Cambridge Dictionary defines “forgive” as “to stop blaming or being angry with someone for something that person has done, or not punish them for something: forgive someone for something/doing something” and defines the term “forgive and forget” as “to completely stop blaming or being angry with someone for something they have done, and to stop thinking about it”.
“Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.
Just as important as defining what forgiveness is, though, is understanding what forgiveness is not.
Experts who study or teach forgiveness make clear that when you forgive, you do not gloss over or deny the seriousness of an offense against you.
Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, nor does it mean condoning or excusing offenses. Though forgiveness can help repair a damaged relationship, it doesn’t obligate you to reconcile with the person who harmed you, or release them from legal accountability.” (1)
The Bible teaches us that “Forgiveness is also an essential part of the life of believers. Ephesians 4:32 commands, “Instead, be kind to each other, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:32 NLT)
Similarly, Colossians 3:13 says, “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” (Colossians 3:13 NLT)
The key in both passages is that we are to forgive others as God has forgiven us.
Why do we forgive? Because we have been forgiven!
The Bible tells us that we are to forgive those who sin against us. We keep no record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:5) but forgive as many times as necessary (Matthew 18:21–22).
Refusing to forgive a person demonstrates resentment, bitterness, and anger, none of which are the traits of a growing Christian.
Biblically, forgiveness is not just something that the offended person offers; it requires the offender to receive it, bringing reconciliation to the relationship.
God promises that, when we come to Him confessing our sin and asking for forgiveness, He freely grants it for the sake of Christ (1 John 1:9). Likewise, the forgiveness we extend to others should know no limits (Luke 17:3–4).” (2)
(1) The Greater Good Science Center at the University of California, Berkeley https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/forgiveness/definition
(2) Got Questions
https://www.gotquestions.org/what-is-forgiveness.html
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